


Ego Crackcanons

by intellexual_asexual



Series: Ego Headcanons [4]
Category: A Heist With Markiplier (Web Series), CrankGameplays - Fandom, Jacksepticeye Power Hour (Web Series), Markiplier TV (Web Series), Unus Annus - Fandom, Who Killed Markiplier? (Web Series)
Genre: Gen, ah shit do i need to tag any warnings for anything in here??, but the one ive had for two days now is just not working kjgfjdls, but we ran out of cheesy rice yesterday 😔, even though theyre really not and im just being a big dumb smooth brain, fs in chat for my two braincells they are starving, honestly i think my brainwaves are being fueled solely by cheesy rice, i dont think so but if i need to just tell me ig, i keep writing it and then deciding the characters are ooc, literally all of the other requests ive had i got done in two hours at worst, oh god i went off in the tags oops, oh god oh fuck i feel like an asshole
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-03
Updated: 2021-02-03
Packaged: 2021-03-14 20:54:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 845
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29177523
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/intellexual_asexual/pseuds/intellexual_asexual
Summary: Some strange and unusual headcanons that I have for the egos. Warning: some of them are extremely cursed.
Series: Ego Headcanons [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2144424
Comments: 2
Kudos: 14





	Ego Crackcanons

**Author's Note:**

> I swear I'm not procrastinating on that one request jhgkfkljs I just have zero ideas for it oof. I thought that If I went ahead and got some ideas out then more ideas would flow in, but my pair of braincells are not reporting any new and fresh ideas so :/ sorry my dude. Anyway enjoy these absolutely cursed headcanons

  * Yancy will eat whipped cream straight out of the can and not tell anyone.
  * Similarly, Illinois does this with the milk carton.
  * Host has a thing for people touching his hair (kind of like petting him I guess? It’s a little hard to explain but yeah a sort of pet kink).
  * Google has a large plush of Twilight Sparkle in the workshop. It is usually in a hidden compartment near his charging station. 
  * Bing likes to take said plush and hide it somewhere else around the workshop. Google thinks Bing does this to annoy and tease him, but actually Bing just really likes the plushie too.
  * Wilford and Bim once caught Dark in heart patterned boxers. The how, when, and why is not important.
  * All of the Ipliers know about Eric’s secret feral side, but Blank almost had a heart attack when the two of them were having a sleepover and Eric ate some sweets before bed.
  * Dr. Iplier has misophonia. And the common triggers, unfortunately, are literally anything Wilford says or does.
  * Bim eats raw meat. You probably already know that if you have read my other works, but what you don’t know is that Bim will frequently steal the raw meat for the next day’s meal and hide it in his office fridge. Host is very tired of this but he didn’t do anything about it except get twice the usual amount of meat, so that Bim can take half of it and the rest of them won’t starve.
  * Schneeplestein likes country music.
  * Anti also has a thing for people petting him.
  * Robbie can’t chew food up easily, so he usually swallows his food whole. He has no gag reflexes as a result, as the Septics found out from him eating like five whole hotdogs in the span of ten seconds.
  * Everyone in the Septic house thinks Anti is the resident sadist, but it’s actually Jackie. Well, he might be a mix between a sadist and a masochist. I don’t think he jumps off of buildings to just show off.
  * C H A S E B R O N I E. That’s it that’s the crackcanon.
  * Marvin usually walks around the house in cat form. His brothers got him a little bin with a bunch of cat toys for them to play with, and they pet him almost every time he saunters by. He’s not, like, _into_ that or anything, he just really likes the attention.
  * You want to know a secret? Like a really _secret_ secret? Jameson can talk. He just likes not talking, and when he Arrived his brothers assumed that he was mute and he really doesn’t feel like correcting them.
  * This isn’t really a crackcanon but consider: Chase as a dad to Robbie, Eric, and Blank. Just- just think about it. Really consider the potential found family here. I know I have.
  * Mrs. Thomson was once arrested for murder. They never really could prove that those scones were what killed that guy, so they let her go. Yan was ecstatic when she found out, and they immediately started asking Mrs. Thomson how she got away with it. She said, “They wouldn’t jail an elderly lady, dear. Especially not one that can cook so well.”
  * Mad Mike actually does run an ice cream van, but none of the ice cream has drugs in it. He serves some weird ass flavors though, like “Horse Flesh” and “Lobster.”
  * And none of the Cranks know where he goes to sell his ice cream. They live in the middle of a fucking desert, why would children just be roaming around out there? But somehow Mike always comes home with a large profit.
  * Post has super flexibility, and he likes to creep the other Cranks out by doing that weird spider pose (oop i don't know how to add pictures but if you search "super flexible guy in the creepy pose" it should be the first few in the images kjhdflgjk)
  * The Gongoozler likes to teleport to random lakes everyday. One time they happened upon a lake that HeeHoo was drinking from and the two are best buds now. Maybe a little more than best buds, but I don’t exactly know the sexual anatomy of a fish/human/monster thing so I’ll keep their relationship platonic kjfgljdk
  * “Does Mrs. Thomson Is Gay? (The Rumor Come Out): Mrs Thomson is gay is the least discussed in the media in the few years ago. Even it has happened in 2017, but some of the public still curious about what is exactly happening and to be the reason there is a rumor comes out about her gay. At that time she became the smallest social networking rumor.”
  * (Yes, Mrs. Thomson is your friendly neighborhood lesbian grandma 😌)
  * Unus and Annus both like to drink pee. Like it's not even for the meme anymore they both shamelessly drink it. And everyone thinks its disgusting because _where do they keep getting it from they just keep drinking the same pee ew_
  * king is a furry. His fursona is a squirrel, obviously




End file.
